Sunday, March 9, 2008

The Association of White Male Oppressors (AWMO)

Ladies and... no, sorry... Gentlemen! Come one, come all to the greatest... oh, wait... OK, if you're White (and preferably Protestant) ... and ideally from a predominately Northern and/or Western European background ... Then come and join our EXCITING fellowship of... fellows! The Association of White Male Oppressors! (AWMO for short...)

What do we do? Well, let me tell ya! It's quite a hootenanny, all right! Well, on a typical evening we hang out at my trailer, play Bud Light beer pong, listen to classic country music, and dine on Beenie Weenies and Saltines (we don't like the word "Cracker") and Cheez-Whiz! (Heck, if it's your birthday we'll even deep fry some Twinkies for ya! Hoo wee!)

But then the REAL FUN begins... once we're all sauced up we have a "pow-wow" of sorts... folks, we spend hours upon endless hours plotting and scheming and fanangling how to oppress all of those BELOW us, YOU KNOW... the usual suspects: women, Blacks, Mexicans, Chinese, the disabled, poor folks (those who aren't White, obviously), entire Third World nations, American Indians, etc. (I'm using "PC" language here gentlemen since this is a "family" website...) Then we scratch ourselves a bit, trade stocks, fart and think of novel ways to stay on Top of the World! Boy, it's a good day to be The Man!!!

We try to come up with new ways to put down Jews and Catholics and them Hin-doos. And Democrats!!! Boys, it's a hoot! We figure out ways to raise the cost of health care and keep them colored folks in the ghetto ignorant and hopefully killin' each other! Boy, you'd be amazed at what we have planned for next week! We haven't finalized plans just yet, but it's either going to be an old-fashioned "Dress Up Like Your Favorite Vigilante Leader" party OR we are FINALLY going to start circulating those petitions to get Hee-Haw back on the air! For exercise (Men, you gotta stay strong to be effective during your volunteer Border Patrol duties), we'll probably play an inspiring round of "Smear the Queer!" I LOVE that game! And for musical entertainment, we'll be rehearsing for our annual Blackface Minstrel Show fundraiser in order to ensure our precious White children can ALL afford quality copies of Mein Kampf for Little Folk and the entire Dick and Jane Learn to Colonize series for their Pinko-free homeschools.

Sounds like fun? Visit us online at: http://thisiswhatliberalextremistsmustactuallythinkaboutwhiteguys.org/ and be SURE to have your Illuminati membership # handy.